Saturday, 23 January 2010

QPR fan rant

Mr Angry

You've probably all seen this now but just in (Jimmy) case. Here is the infamous QPR fan rant that is doing the rounds. Fan rants are all the rage at the moment so expect hundreds more to follow in the coming weeks. We will only jump on the bandwagon just this once though:

I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win at the moment.

I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dogs**t under the likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.

The club isn't ours anymore but more so than that - football is just properly gash these days.

I mean really gash.

football generally.

I hate nearly everything about it these days....

I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of money. It's no more exciting that Nameless C*** getting to number 1 in the charts after winning the X-Factor.

I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's 17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20 after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the **** are Charlton, Leeds and Southampton still in business?

I hate Frank Lampard's stupid f'ing face. I hate that Joe Cole's tongue is never in his mouth, the downsy spacker. I hate John Terry being England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.

I hate the England team.

I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully had nothing but pace.

I hate the FA Cup. There may be little shocks like last night but for the most part you know who's going to win it. Unless a team throws away all their financial security to win it a la Pompey.

I hate Harry f'ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp. And the Wii.

I hate James Nesbitt, Eammon Holmes and f***ing everyone.

I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

I hate Garth Crooks.

I hate Garth Brooks for that matter.

I hate Sky Sports.

I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards it's amazing.

I hate that everything football related has to have 'Club Foot' playing behind it.

I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

I hate Mark Lawrensen for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the back'. I bet you do.

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than pain and disappointment.

I hate any advert that mentions pies at football.

I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game. I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I hate that it'll probably be us.

I hate Phil Brown.

I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers real problems this summer' before EVERY F'ING TOURNAMENT.

I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this post than I'll earn this month.

I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.

I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop f'ing lingering.

I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or Bradford.

I hate that a comeback from 4-0 down at half time (TWICE) means nothing because we aren't f'ing scouse.

I hate Leeds.

I hate Roy Keane.

I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a saturday when their team is playing at home.

I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.

I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then sung in a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.

I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he's ever interviewed.

I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They had 2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Fk me... Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost written one.

I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they start.

Just to cheer this chap up, here is Mr Bump dressed in a QPR replica shirt:

- Feel free to comment below -


Ali said...

Agree with- almost- everything your quick rant included

MOD£RN football is pitiful, hate it and everything it stands for

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it might be funnier if it wasn't for the homophobia and misogyny.

Danny Last said...

Ali - just to make it clear, these are not my views and it wasn't my rant. These were the musings of a QPR fan.

For what it's worth, I agree with Anonymous.

Lanterne Rouge said...

Matthew Brazier - there's a name to conjure with - that he ever played professional football is baffling.