Amiens v Le Havre

Chips, hats and alcohol free

Amiens 0-1 Le Havre (12:08:11)

Reporting on the first leg of a three-part French and Belgian European Football Weekend, Andy Hudson of Gannin' Away...

The coach turned onto Buckingham Palace Road. “Thank fuck we’re here” came the mackem accent from behind me, “I’m never doing that again” it continued before morphing into a yawn. Six hours previously that same voice was locked into a shrieking cacophony of laughing, the owner having got on at Durham amongst a group and spent the first stage of the journey to London disturbing the sleep of those around them. This was the first horrific stage of the Les EFW, the first major event of the 2011/12 football season.

Ideas had been floated for months. Flights checked, fixtures referenced, maps pawed over. The plan had formed to leave from London in the car and do a loop from Calais with as many games as possible sandwiched in. Disaster had struck a few weeks ago when the Lens versus Troyes game was moved to Saturday afternoon leaving us with a frantic search for a replacement game. “Amiens are at home and that isn’t far”, Danny Last had text me. “Aye” I replied, “and it’s a cracking night out apparently” I offered, not quite remembering where I had heard that bit of information.

With time to kill while I awaited Messrs Last and Fuller, I wired myself on coffee at Victoria Station before getting over to London Bridge, the start point of the trip. A pint down in All Bar One opposite the entrance and we were off. Before long, the southern English countryside was replaced by the English Channel and we were queuing for the ferry. Entertainment came via head-scratching as we tried to work out how to correctly apply the stickers on the car head-lamps. With Stuart off in search of a car that was already sorted so that he could copy, Danny and I stood like a couple of spare pricks in a ferry queue. Not to worry, minutes later and we were ordering the first beer in the bar of what is a four-pint-journey.

“Drive on the right; drive on the right” focused Stuart as we rolled off the ferry ramp. French countryside appeared and disappeared as we covered the miles south to Amiens; the toll road, fairly empty, was used as we sped towards our destination. Cash paid, we pulled off the road and over to the right was the Stade de la Licorne, rising up like a space craft. We parked up, noticed that the ticket office was still shut and so decided to go and check-in at our hotel, a few miles away.

The Stade de la Licorne, rising like a space craft, tick 

With bags dumped in the room we hit the bar. Sickly, sweet Kronenbourg necked and we retraced the journey back to the stadium, passing a coach of Le Havre fans singing next to the toll road payment machine. After handing over our 10 Euros for a ticket, we wandered around the ground before queuing for some food. Weighed down with a mountain of chips, we headed up the stairs and took our position standing at the back just as the teams came out. The small section of Le Havre fans waved their flags; the Amiens fans in the VIP tent to our right afforded a polite ripple of support and the 12 year old at the front of our stand led the home fans in the middle section into generous singing; the football at Les EFW was underway.

A shifty looking character in a black ultras top from Primark, we'll call him Andy Hudson, eases through security

Eventually we became bored by the chips; after 5 minutes of non-stop eating I was still no closer to finishing them. As another fan emerged up the stairs clutching the very large brown bag, a plastic fork sticking out of the top, I binned my package and took a swig of the freshly poured beer that was on the bar. It wasn’t sickly sweet like the one at the hotel, but it was watery. Was it non-alcoholic beer? We conferred, debated and thrashed it out before deciding that it must be. With beers downed, we headed to a seat at the front of the stand to watch the match.

 Une montagne de frites s'il vous plaît

Neither team attacked with purpose; as such it was no surprise that a cagey first half finished goalless. The atmosphere was muted, the downside of the stadium design being that noise isn’t retained inside the stands, merely it floats upwards and out over the night sky.

“I reckon we could get a beer in that main stand” said Danny, just as the referee signalled for the end of the half. With the main stand being posher seats and a few Euros more expensive, we made our way to the back of the stand, talked as we passed security and headed straight up the stairs at the back of the main stand. Passing the back of the VIP tent, situated just next to the bar, we passed a couple of chaps drinking a beer. “Your beer, does it have alcohol in?” asked Danny, slightly affecting a French accent. “Oui” shot back the reply. “We’ll double up on this round then. Quattro beers s’il vous plait”.

The Le Havre fans avec passion du foot

The home support with, possibly, a little less of that passion...

Taking seats at the bottom of the main stand we took a gulp of the beer. “This is bloody non-alcoholic” we all cried out at once. With no alcohol to mess with our memory, we took to the football again. The Amiens ‘keeper sported an awful football strip with a pink top topped off by some logo of a cow or something on the front. As a result of this fashion disaster, it was no surprise that the visitors took the lead after 62 minutes. Football has a simple rule: wear a disgusting top and you will get beat.

Le Havre broke away down the left and a cross that initially appeared to be hit too deep as it dropped over the run of the forward coming in to the near post area, turned out to be delivered to perfection as it landed perfectly at the edge of the box for Ryan Mendes to volley home. That was the only goal that the crowd of 8,862 witnessed as the game soon reverted back to both defences dealing with attacks with ease.

Pretty in Pink. Obvious caption; horrific outfit. 

Oooh ... it's a corner

Having heard that Amiens was a good place to have a beer, I was looking forward to sampling the bars. We headed back to the hotel, dropped the car, called a taxi and were soon in amongst it. We had been told that there was a street of bars; the street turned out to be rather small. The street was actually a corner. We started off in one bar and after wandering over the bridge we scanned the menu while we sat at a table. “The beer’s almost 7 Euros a pint here!” “Shall we vote with our feet?” came the reply as all three of us got to our feet. “Is that a pub over there?” “Na, it’s a hairdressers”.

The pub decision was an easy one to make in the end. One bar seemed popular and with a spare seat outside. As Stephen Hawking rocked out on the dance floor inside, we chatted over beers outside. A table of local youngsters sipped their way through cokes and beers while a very drunk lady wearing a sailor hat and with huge holes in her tights bounced around from table to table.

With the night getting late and with an early start to Lens the following morning, we started to finish off our beers. We had been left by a few people who had joined our table to chat, when eventually she got round to our table. “Where are you from?” a voice slurred. We looked up and noticed a sailor hat. “Are you fuckin’ bullshitting me? You are from England? Do you think I’m pretty? Shake it baby – yeah!”.

Au revoir football...

....Bonjour Le Pub. €7 a pint? Were they taking the piss? 

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Next up .... we went to Lens v Troyes ....

Interview: Steve Brenner - The Sun

Sunshine Of The North

We live in an age where everyone is a de-facto journalist; social media allows for that, especially Twitter, writes Andy Hudson. While many full-time journalists take stick via mediums such as Twitter and forums, with many people quick to believe that they could do better than those employed by newspapers, there are a number of reporters that excel at what they do. Now call me biased, but I believe that we in the North East we have some of the very best lads out on the beat. Some of our regional papers have top journalists working for them and the nationals are blessed with high calibre professionals amongst their ranks.

EFW has already met one of those when we talked to George Caulkin; now we have another. A southerner welcomed in Newcastle? It happens all of the time. And it's made easier when that southerner is Steve Brenner.

Hello Steve, thanks for taking the time out to speak to European Football Weekends. How did a Staines lad find himself so far north of his patch? Thanks for having me. Well I was working for the Sun in Wapping, covering the London beat for a couple of years when the North East guy at the time moved on to pastures new. The chance came up for me to replace him, I took it and almost five years later, here I still am. Looking back it was a cracking decision.

Jermaine Jenas compared living in Newcastle as like living "in a goldfish bowl"; how do you find Geordie city life compared to southern gentleman refined living? The one thing I love about Newcastle is living in the city itself. It's not too big, there is always something going on and it has a really nice vibe about it. Staines is a small town so it's no comparison really. And no, there are no Ali-G type gangsters in Staines. Well, not anymore.

Is there a difference between dealing with Newcastle and Sunderland as clubs? Well, in terms of national coverage then yes. Although Sunderland are and remain a huge club here in the North East, their profile nationally is dwarfed by Newcastle. Certainly my office are always interested in what is going on at St James' Park and because there always seems to be one story or another keeping us busy, a lot of my time is concentrated on the Toon. But that's not to say, Sunderland aren't newsworthy either. In Steve Bruce they have a very quotable, media savvy manager who is a good name and makes decent copy.
There are a few differences between dealing with the clubs themselves but I think I'll keep those private for now...(anyone who is interested you can buy me a vat of beer and I will explain)

What's your take on the Mike Ashley situation - is it really such a fiasco or do you see a coherent plan forming? It's a tough one. When you speak to the Ashley camp , well when they are not fuming with you, you get an idea of what they have tried to achieve behind the scenes. The way they made the club financially viable after relegation, how they are on a sound financial footing etc. Anyone who thinks he is all bad, total evil, scum of the earth etc are wrong. But I do concede mistakes have been made - and I know they realise that too. They have a plan and are sticking to it. It's just the way they go about things does leave some wondering what the hell is going on.

The arrival of Dennis Wise will, for me, go down as one of the strangest calls of all time. And personally I think the whole sorry Joey Barton saga recently could have been handled better - by all parties. We have seen and had to cope with so many knee-jerk reactions over the last few years it's beginning to get a bit wearisome.

How do you sum up last season for both Sunderland and Newcastle? For Newcastle, they did well. Ask any fan following promotion what they would want and staying up would be the answer. They did it, and with something to spare too. Sunderland wise it was disappointing. They started brilliantly but their slump after Xmas was horrific. Bruce had bad injuries but the squad was laid bare and were lucky to avoid getting into serious trouble.

'North East Top Dogs' - is that really just a load of bollocks? I mean can there really be pride in holding success up as merely just finishing above your rivals and little else? (both sets of fans only started going on about this recently having spent years without really mentioning it). Top Dogs bollocks? It's a fans thing I think. I know lots of Geordies and Mackems who would love nothing more than finishing higher than one another in the Premier League. And , after all, it all adds to the spice up here doesn't it? Because we as journalists work closely with both clubs, they are always great fun and top occasions.

Is it a worry that the drain of talent away from the North East has started again with the Carroll and Henderson moves? Yes but it's fair to say that neither Sunderland or Newcastle are in the top eight/10 clubs in the Premier League right now. They are getting close to getting back up there but when you look at the likes of Manchester City and even Liverpool's squads , the difference is quite staggering. And depressing if you're from up here.

What do you think of both players - England regulars of the future? I think Carroll will cause carnage - on the pitch ,I might add - for years. He has it all and we were just starting to see it at Newcastle before he trotted off. Jordan is a good footballer but he had a tendency to go missing. I think though, playing with the likes of Gerrard et al, will help him. Technically he's excellent but I don't think Sunderland could turn down that money. He will be in and around the England squad for sure.

If both clubs said that their ambition was to qualify for the Europa League next season, what do you think they would have to do to achieve that? To be consistent which I am not sure either have the ability to do. I'm slightly worried for Newcastle this season, it's going to be tough. Sunderland have the players but one or two injuries may disrupt them.

You tend to take some stick on Twitter because of the newspaper you work for. If someone isn't a Sun reader then they tend to hate that establishment. How do you react to the haters? Well, following all the phone hacking cases recently, I have come in for plenty. Everyone has their own opinion and , as I am sure most are aware, Scousers on Twitter don't hesitate to give me grief and with their particular bone of contention, it's hard for me to defend myself. But other than that, I am happy to banter with any haters and try to get them to realise I am not a dirty, horrible, tabloid hack with a pocket full of nasty agendas. It's hard but...! I would though like to think that if people aren't particularly Sun readers or have a preconceived idea of what I am like that I can change their views.

How frustrating is it as a journalist when you're banned from a football ground because of a story published in the newspaper you work for? We've seen this recently with The Sun at Sunderland and also The Mail at St James' Park. Well, as national journalists , although I'd like to think I have good relationships with Newcastle and Sunderland, there will be times when we have to stick the boot in or do stuff that won't go down well. But that is the challenge of working for the Sun. We aren't a local paper or a club website. We can go at something even if it will ruffle a few feathers. Bans are par for the course I suppose. I don't agree with that plan of action - I'd much rather have it out face to face with anyone who isn't happy. I suppose it's the club getting their own back but, so I don't get banned for this, I think all the clubs I work with are wonderful and are full of wonderful, lovely people.

You were present for that Joe Kinnear press conference when he first took over as Newcastle manager and acted very much as a voice of reason towards him when he was going off on one. When it first started and Simon Bird was called a **** were you trying to hold in a laugh or were you picking up your jaw from the ground? Picking my jaw up from the ground and then ensuring it wasn't about to be broken. The thing about all that was Kinnear, bless him, got the total wrong end of the stick. He thought we had all written a story on how on his first day the whole squad were on a day off and he wasn't aware of it. That wasn't the case. The story was it was his first day and everyone was off. Anyway, all hell broke loose and it remains the most incredible press conference, if you can call it that, I have ever been in. My attempts to quell the fuming Joe with the line 'you know how it is Joe', spoken in my London tones, has caused much merriment among my brilliant , hilarious colleagues in the North East. Funny lot , they are.

You've started to make strides in the world of tennis reporting after being known for football journalism for many years. How did you end up branching out? Well our former tennis man, Charlie Wyett, got the gig of covering England so I stepped into his shoes. I've been doing it a year now and have really enjoyed it. That meant me giving up doing England Under-21's but after four years of that, I need a break from Psycho.

Besides being a different sport, what's the difference between covering tennis and football? Considering Great Britain's awful standing in tennis - no male Slam winner since 1936 - I am effectively covering one man in Andy Murray. Yes we have other players but Murray is by far our best player so I spend almost all the time previewing and covering his attempts to win a big one. I think I speak for all the tennis writers when I say how nice it would be to have a few younger guys and girls coming through so not all the focus is on Andy. The environments are quite different but the striking difference is the lack of any aggro or controversy in tennis. There is just no comparison to football. I have done the Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, Queens, Davis Cup this year and will be going to the US Open soon. Yet I got more stories and scandal in 10 days covering Newcastle in the States last month.

The fan stereotype of young footballers is that they are flash and a touch on the thick side. The tennis stereotype is more of a middle-class thing. How inaccurate is this? Pretty inaccurate. I have spoken to a lot of intelligent footballers in my time and although, yes, some are a little on the ,er, unclever side, I believe they do get a bad rep sometimes because of the actions of others. There are footballers out there who do a lot of great stuff in the communities and behind the scenes.Tennis wise, I have found most to be pretty down to earth and good to deal with. Murray has been great with us this year and loves a wacky quote here and there, which is music to my ears.The middle class thing comes from the fact tennis isn't a cheap sport to try and progress in as a kid. But it's a sleeping giant of a sport if the beloved tennis authorities can get their act together and make it more accessible. Anyone, and I mean literally anyone, can watch a game of tennis on TV and understand what is going on.

Who do you prefer dealing with: footballers or tennis player? Tough one. Considering who I work for, footballers , not all of them but some, are naturally wary of what we are going to do with the interview, etc. Tennis is more chilled out but both sets are decent to work with.

The 2008 Nadal v Federer Wimbledon Final was one of the finest tennis matches ever. How would you compare this to a great football match? Sitting on Centre Court really is special. You can just sense the history of the place which is quite something. Like going to Lord's. And seeing great players like the two mentioned really is something.  But nothing compares to the atmosphere at a rocking football stadium. I have been at St James' Park and the Stadium of Light when the place is bouncing and you just can't beat it.

We love our European football trips here at EFW Towers. Where's the best place you've been to watch football outside of this country? I covered a Blackburn UEFA Cup match in Salzburg a few years back. Lovely place and very tidy stadium. Nice hills too.

EFW has branched out on occasions to cover cricket and rugby league. Where should we go for a European Tennis Weekend? Well, Melbourne is a bit far for a weekend so I would have to say Paris. Just a brilliant city which looks like what everyone thinks it does.

Who would your ideal companions be on your perfect EFW? My pals from back home. Yes, yes, the Staines Massive.

Some of your peers love to try and take the piss on Twitter by telling you to get back to the tennis etc. Do you reckon this borne out of jealously at you jetting off to the likes of Melbourne and Paris while they are stuck in the likes of Monkseaton and Palmersville? No it has nothing to do with the fact that while they will be freezing at Sunderland v Wigan in January I will be in Melbourne wondering which shorts and glasses combo to wear for another tough day at the tennis. Nothing to do with that at all.

As a sports lover who has said they are excited for something happening next summer....did you apply for any London 2012 tickets? I didn't. My parents have tickets for the rowing though, which should be cool.

How's your Football/Championship Manager career coming along? Any plans to take over a non-league team and lead them to glory in real life? It never got started. Back in the day when I played with my brother , it was all so straightforward. Now I have the option to send Bolo Zenden on diagonal runs while he holds his position in a 4-1-2-3 formation on orders not to press too far up the opposing midfielder's behind. I'd sit there for 3 hours and barely play a game. I'd just tinker. I have to try and ensure I have a life! Enjoyed the retro Champ manager 1980's though on the iphone recently. Signed Maradona for £500,000.

You've got a knack for coming out with some decent one-liners on Twitter. When you're travelling do you write a load down in the hope that one day the situation arises when can use them or, without a hint of sycophancy, do you just have the knack for being funny? I am just hilarious. Ask any of my equally hilarious North East 'friends' and they won't tell you the same.

Anyone who isn't following you on Twitter is missing out on links to your work being tweeted at 2am in the morning. Do you get home from the pub and suddenly decide that you're going to fire out your stories? Ha, no! My stories automatically get sent out by the office on a Twitter feed. Sometimes I do them myself but, most of the time, it's the office. Honest. Drunk tweeting is a crime and should be frowned upon.

Finally......who would you want to see EFW interview next? Mike Ashley.

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And if you have any idea what Steve was about to attempt in the photo (above) ..... then feel free to comment below.

FC St. Pauli v Alemannia Aachen

There’s no place like home...

FC St. Pauli 3-1 Alemannia Aachen (05:08:11)

Nick Davidson makes his annual pilgrimage to see 'The Rebel's Choice', FC St. Pauli...

I like August. And not just because it signals the start of another football season. It’s also the time of year when I have enough holiday to combine a game of football with an unfeasibly long train trip. It’s a train trip that starts in the depressingly anodyne surrounding of Milton Keynes, home of franchise football, and ends 23 hours later with me emerging blearly-eyed out of the U-Bahn and onto the Heiligengeistfeld (literally, the field of the Holy Spirit), home of the Hamburger Dom and FC Sankt Pauli. From the ridiculous to the sublime via, London, Brussels and Köln.

This is the fifth season in a row that I’ve participated in my own little InterRail adventure (my other half thinks I’m compensating for missing out in my youth – I stayed home, a shy, nervous teenager, terrified at the prospect of ‘sleeping rough’ on train platforms across Europe whilst my mates partied to non-stop Euro-techno. To complete the melancholy picture, I’m pretty sure I spent the entire summer listening to The Smiths - There Is a Light That Never Goes Out. #youthwastedontheyoung etc,.) It is also my fifth season watching St Pauli and nearly four years to the day since I first made the trip to the Millerntor to watch the season opener. Although, watching the first home game this year, was a feat only made possible by the idiocy of some bloke throwing a beer cup at a linesman (at the end of the home fixture against Schalke in April) and the general ineptitude of the German football authorities who decided to punish the unruly pupil with a class detention, moving St Pauli’s first ‘home’ game of the season 60 kilometres north, to VfB Lübeck’s Lohmühle Stadium. The 2011/12 season had kicked-off unfeasibly early on the 15th of July – before the kids had even broken up for summer! So, the all-round stupidity and repercussions of the beer throwing had done me something of a backhanded favour – it had kept my first home game tradition alive.

Executive dwelling St Pauli style (sausage train not visible)

I was here this time last year as well, and witnessed a 0-1 defeat at the hands of TSG 1899 Hoffenheim  (SAP 1899 Hoffenheim, anyone?) with the Boys in Brown falling to one of those crushingly depressing late goals that would prove to be our undoing on numerous occasions. Hoffenheim was our first home fixture back in the big time of the Bundesliga. Our last was an embarrassing 1-8 tonking at the hands of Bayern Munich. Much changed over the course of that season both on-and-off the pitch, so my trip was a good opportunity to take stock of the lasting impact of a season in German top-flight on the heart, soul and spirit of St Pauli.

One of the constant themes that underpinned last season was the worry that St Pauli – the football club and the district – was changing. And not for the better. The district is at risk of creeping gentrification and rising rents are forcing people out. Urban redevelopment is not confined to the mammoth HafenCity project, St Pauli too is fast becoming desirable real-estate. Meanwhile, in football the rampant commercialization that sours the game at the top-level  in England was becoming more noticeable in Germany too. This has put pressure on St Pauli’s core fanbase. A shiny, modern stand packed with business seats and executive boxes had replaced the old Haupttribüne and caused divisions among the traditional supporters and the newer ‘mode’ fans. This culminated with the inspired ‘Jolly Rouge’ campaign that turned the Millerntor into a sea of red flags for the home game against SC Freiburg. The Jolly Rouge (a red flag with a black skull and crossbones flown by pirates indicating they were in the mood to take ‘no prisoners’) was a clever appropriation of the highly branded ‘official’ Jolly Roger used by the club. The campaign went someway to repairing the divisions between different sets of fans, and between the fans and the club itself – an uneasy truce, if you will.

AFM container, early doors

Of course, I missed all of this, watching from afar on the internet, so I was interested to see what the atmosphere would be like as the new season got underway. I arrived in Hamburg just after lunch, literally dodged some very drunk Aachen fans who fell over in front of me, shouting something incomprehensible in my direction, and stretched my legs by wandering around the stadium taking pictures of some of the bits of street art and graffiti that help make the area around the stadium so special. With the stadium empty, the contrast between the two new stands and the two surviving older stands couldn’t be more marked (although the Ultras have done their bit to pimp up the Südkurve over the summer by painting the terracing, and I must say it looks splendid.) That said, if I could wave a magic wand and change anything, it would be to halt the redevelopment right there. The awkward tangle of concrete and scaffolding that is the Gegengerade should be preserved for all eternity, to me it represents so many of the things I treasure about St Pauli –ramshackle, yet soulful. I also got to see up close, the Mad Max post-apocalypse executive box that had sprung up between the Gegengerade and the Nordkurve. The boys over at The Football Ramble couldn’t get enough its ‘sausage train’ that delivers beer and sausages to guests in their seats, and I agree it’s a great concept and the box does look very ‘St Pauli’ but there’s always that nagging doubt that it’s actually, well, a bit pastiche. Anyhow, I got some snaps, just in case the Gegengerade is gone by the time of my next visit.

The Gegengerade

Next stop was the Fanladen to collect my ticket and meet with a couple of other UK based fans who’d made the trip over. Any worries about atmosphere were soon dispelled after loitering outside the Fanladen and watching the fans roll up. I was particularly impressed with one chap who appeared to be sporting homemade Ultra Sankt Pauli socks – a fabulous brown-white-red-white-brown combination that even managed to knock the spots of the excellent hooped 2011/12 home socks (which I’d just purchased – I know, I'm a merchandise whore – and intend to wear pulled right up for the rest of the summer.) The clock was ticking and the atmosphere was building, and it was time to head over for a pre-match Astra or two at the AFM container. ‘Top-tip’ here: don’t wait outside and queue to be served through the hatch, be brave and go inside to get your beer, it’s a zillion times quicker (cheers, Dunc!)

Finally, it was time to head onto the Südkurve, which with 40 minutes to go until kick-off was already pretty full. The sun was out, the fans were in good voice and Hells Bells still sent a shiver down my spine – things were looking good. Fans on all sides of the stadium were loud, driven on by the Südkurve’s call & response chanting, the atmosphere was just as incredible as I remember it.

The match itself was an error prone shocker, but a goal right on full-time gave St Pauli a 3-1 win, their first ‘home’ victory at the Millerntor since February 2011. The place went mental and I got soaked in the ‘traditional’ beer shower. Any lingering doubts about St Pauli’s status as something different had been banished. It had been the usual inspiring, invigorating, beer soaked trip. My sanity is regularly questioned for spending nearly 24 hours on trains just to watch 90 minutes of football (and it’s true, I could fly.) But it’s not really the football I go for. It’s the fans, and the atmosphere they continue to generate. It’s about having a beer with like-minded folk; chatting with people who have been going to the Millerntor from the UK for over 25 years – and have seen real changes yet still keep coming back; about meeting members of New York City’s East River Pirates fan club watching a rare live game, soaking up memories to see them through the countless matches they watch on tape-delay in the Big Apple. This, to me, is what makes the FC St Pauli community special.

Gegengerade celebrates St Pauli's third goal

Mandatory final score confirmation shot

I just had the trip to do in reverse now, but I was bolstered by a great day on the Heiligengeistfeld and had taken on supplies for the journey home: I’d managed to acquire, not only the 11 Freunde new season guide, but also a glossy guide to French football and a handful of Cadbury’s playfully named Wunderbar, err, chocolate bars to see me home. Heady days indeed. I left Hamburg station at 9.00pm reassured that the spirit of football was very much alive, and I returned to Milton Keynes Central 16 hours later, to a timely tweet from a certain Andy Brassell (occasionally of this Parish) alerting me to the fact that AFC Wimbledon were just about to make their Football League return. Perfectly timed proof that English football has a soul too, despite the best efforts of those that govern the game.

Wonderful trip, wonderful chocolate

FC St Pauli isn’t perfect, it doesn’t exist in a commercial-free, ideological bubble, and I know it’s a bit of a (social) romantic cliché but it is still the closest thing I found to the very heart, soul and spirit of football. I love it there – it feels like home.

Note: Danny, do I win some sort of large cash prize for writing a whole piece on St Pauli and not once mentioning the Reeperbahn, punks or prostitutes? If I do I’ll put it all towards my next Euro adventure, promise! (I'm afraid not old chap, but I've got the EFW parcel dispatch team to mail you out a box full of Wunderbar, possibly - Ed.).

Like that? Then you'll like this: Borussia Dortmund v FC St. Pauli 

Nick is the Editor of the excellent http://www.modernfootballisrubbish.com

Follow Nick and European Football Weekends on Twitter